Journey To The End

So my last day is officiall here, which is absolutely insane to me.  It really did happen fast, and even though I won’t miss the job at all its still a bit weird to be leaving.  I mean, a month ago I mused that I was stuck here for the foreseable future the way the economy is going.  I just got really, really lucky.  I’ve actually been somewhat busy packing up and tying up loose end that I couldn’t live-blog my last day unlike some other, better bloggers.

At this point there’s not much for me to do but sit around and stare at the screen until its time to head off to the bar (naturally that’s the post-work plan for this evening)  There’s no exit interview.  Nothing to tie up with HR…just wait.  Oh well…here’s a video I thought was appropriate.

Let’s Hear It For A Loophole

So yeah, my last day at work has officially moved up to tomorrow, leftover sick time plus a shortened week thanks to thanksgiving will come in handy. So yeah, just a heads up, bloggings will be sparse ’round these parts next week.  What with the extremely sloth-like lifestyle I will revel in for like 5 days plus the criminal amount of turkey, stuffing, not to mention the pumpkin pies I’m going to eat, I may just not find a lot of time to write words.  So yeah, I got that going for me.

Hrm, so what else is there to talk about.  I could continue going on about Twilight, but that’ll just make me mad and I’ll need to breathe into a paper bag to calm down.  As I am sans paper bag I think that would be a very bad idea.  Plus, South Park pretty much took care of that topic last night.

I just don’t know, I don’t have that much to complain about, and nothing fun or exciting (read: drunk and entertaining to others) has happened to me in the past few weeks.  No hilarious incidents dealing with coagulated milk products on top of deep fried spud slices.  Nothing even remotely entertaining.

I could mention that they’re going to cut the express service on the subway line i ride, but that would get me the same response that a discussion of teenage abstinence vampires would, and no one wants to see that happen. Especially not me.

Hey, would you look at that. My almer matter [sic..but on purpose cause I'm hilarious], Fordham, was mentioned on Deadspin!  What did they say about it?  Ahhh crap.

Sorry guys, I guess I’m just not that interesting.  But I do know how to drive page views up!  Pictures of animals!  Here’s my roomates dog (who, by the transative property of dog owernship/apartment sharing, I live with) with Jon Stewart (yaaay) and Joe Lieberman (boooo).

The Even Bigger Blog Swap of 2008

(hey…your usual author here.  Well its blog swap day.  I am not writing for this here site today.  No, you can find my usual poorly written drivel at A MinD In MoTown.  The titular MinD has written this post that you see below the fancy blog swap button.  Hope you enjoy)

For many early 20-somethings out there, a musical era ended Sunday night that few seemingly took the time to note, let alone notice.

 

Total Request Live, or TRL as Carson Daly originally dubbed it, wrapped up ten years of screaming fans, overly dramatic girls, guest appearances and force-fed music videos this weekend, and for at least one viewer out there – i.e. yours truly – it was a nostalgic event.

 

One decade ago, I was a pop-loving 13-year-old who would religiously leave eighth grade each day and turn immediately to MTV as soon as I entered the house – be it my household or another’s. And for one hour, I’d rest my lazy ass in front of the tube to see which music video – OMG, NSync better be #1!!!!! – would make it to that coveted position.

 

And for several years, I kept turning the dial – or, um, pressing the remote – to that beloved show.

 

I recall when the time slot changed, all eight million times, in somewhat feeble attempts to gain more viewership. I remember the set changing several times over the years and even Carson’s weight gains, and losses, ‘til he finally departed the Times Square studio. (And I will say this: TRL was pretty lackluster without him.) I totally recollect when Jesse Camp beat out Dave Holmes in the first “Wanna Be a VJ” competition – though I have no who I was rooting for back in the day. And I even noticed how only seconds of Usher’s “Yeah” or Hilary Duff’s “Why Not” was actually shown during that one hour despite TRL being touted as programming centered around music videos. Get this, I even remember when Hilarie Burton was just another screaming fan/guest commentator trying to make it on MTV, and now, she’s shot to One Tree Hill fame – okay, it’s my favorite TV show now, cut me some slack people.

 

I don’t know when exactly it was that I decided TRL was no longer of the utmost importance Monday through Friday, or even when I finally realized how little relevance the show truly held, but eventually, it happened. It’s been years since I’ve watched more than three minutes of TRL, until Sunday night, that is.

 

Something about it being “the end” and that element of my life, albeit rather menial overall, coming to a close brought up that nostalgia for my childhood. You know, the days when Britney Spears was busting onto the scene and your best friend says to you (true story), “Look, she’s just like us!” Eh, maybe it’s a girl thing, but for that brief period of my teenage years, TRL was a big fucking deal, so I had to tune in – ahem, MTV, a three-hour goodbye is a little out of control – and watch those final moments.

 

And now, it’s gone. No more crappy music videos – my tastes have drastically changed – and no more girls screaming so vigorously that you think their brains may explode. TRL has become little more than a distant memory, and will remain as such … that is, until ten years from now, some “genius” decides to revive it as a “new” concept and our children are tuning in.

 

… Until that moment happens, I bid a fond farewell to Total Request Live; it’s been real, it’s been fun, but it hasn’t been real fun.

Two Weeks Notice

So I did it this morning.  I gave my two weeks notice.  Its a done deal, and now comes the waiting game.  Its put me in a very weird spot.  I mean, I still have to do my job for the next two weeks.  The thing is, the only thing that was motivating me to do a halfway decent number of orders was fear of being laid off (much like my good friend at the end of last month, which is one of the things that motivated me to get the eff out)

But now, I don’t particularly care.  The only reason I am doing anything is so that I don’t force my co-workers to do more work than they should.  That would be unfair, but still.  I’m having a serious motivational issue.  Whatever, there are only seven business days left for me at my current company (thank you Thanksgiving) so forgive me for reusing this picture to express my feelings on the matter.

So yeah, that’s what I got going for me.  So my two short weeks might be some of the longest two weeks during my tenure here.  Go figure.

Also, probably going to have a guest blogger tomorrow, but i’ll make sure you can tell that right off the bat.

I’ve Been Waiting For This One

I’ve had this post planned for months.  I’ve been thinking about it, tinkering with it in my head.  Hell I’ve done everything short of dream about it.  Today, I can finally write it. I am leaving my job!  On my own terms! Because I found a better one!

So yeah,  I have to go in a give my two weeks notice tomorrow, which is probably going to suck more than I realized.  After I do that I get ready to start me new job December 1st and I can’t freaking wait!  After over a year at a job I thought I would only be at for a few months I can’t even tell you what a relief this is.  So if I’m significantly less bitter for a little bit, you know why.  Now off to practice my “hey boss. Do you have a second to talk” lines.

I Have No Idea What This Is

I generally try to keep up with pop-culture.  I usually have a good idea of what is cool and trendy and all that good stuff.  This is not to say I am a slave to trends (unless writing that you have no idea what twilight is a trend, but I am getting ahead of myself)  Rather, I think of myself as more a pop-culture observer.  I go to the pop-culture Zoo and look over the walls into the cages of pop-culture.  I then return to my critical darling, yet commercially unsucesful taste (that sound you hear is of me tooting my own horn)

Usually when there is a massive surge in popularity of something, I’ll be aware of it.  Hell, I even figured out what  High School Musical was before the 2nd one happened (like 15 minutes before, but who’s splitting hairs. And while we’re on the subject, how awesome was this weeks South Park? ) So yeah, I generally know when something is going to be huge (I called the Dark Knight making lots of money you know)

So this brings me to my point.  What…the…fuck is Twilight?  I have no idea where this came from?  Like, what, its teenage Vampires that eat deers?  Is that right?  I have no idea.  Someone said they glow or something?  I don’t get it.  I’m blindsided by this phenomenon.  I am utterly confused.  I ask, in all seriousness, that someone explain this to me.  Is it that 14 year girls really wanna bone Vampires, so therefore Twilight is bigger than Harry Potter?

I don’t like being this out of the loop.  It makes me feel old and sad.  Someone help!

Another Post Where I ReBlog Something

As I mentioned yesterday, I am going to be an unproductive blogger for most of the week.  Don’t worry, i’ll be back to form shortly (hopefully).  But what about you, my loyal readers (all 3 of you).  I know this is probably the most important stop on your blogroll each day, and I very much don’t want to disappoint.  But how do I follow up an absolutely hilarious and totally original photo of charlie brown seeking advice!  How about I share a fucking link?

Okay, fine, I’ll actually set it up before I post said link.  That way I actually have to hit my fingers to more keys than “cntrl” and “v.”  That way this will actually be a post, and not just a “quick hit” (I’m learning blog lingo!)

So this post relates to the holidays.  But not in the happy, gift exchanging part of the holidays.  It is more about the crippling feelings of loneliness and despair that the holidays have been known to bring to emotionally detached, lonely people. (hypothetically speaking of course…on an unrelated note.  hi mom.)  Since most gifts don’t actually come with a significant other you have to find someone to spend the holidays wearing hilariously ironic sweaters drinking egg-nog in unhealthily large quantities (hypothetical again, of course). Wot to mention New Years. What’s the point getting unnecessarily dolled up to stand in a crowded bar engaging in an epic battle for nary an inch of bar space just to get your top shelf drink that you paid an overpriced cover for the privilege of receiving if you don’t have someone to kiss at midnight.

So how does one go about finding a special holiday friend?  Quite frankly, I don’t have a fucking clue.  What I do know, however, is what not too look for in a special lady friend.  I know this because someone much funnier than me wrote a handy dandy Guide To Holiday Romance.  Here are some highlights in block quote form (just to lengthen this post)

23. Avoid any girl you meet in the bar where you and your friends are watching a game. She thinks she’s figured out guys. She hasn’t. She’ll fuck everything up all the while thinking she’s very clever about men.

29. Avoid any girl who has done speed dating, match.com or j-date. She’s got commitment issues, and since you’re an emotionally unavailable alcoholic, neither of you will ever call each other.

(okay, these first two were double cheating, as they were the highlighted one from the post I originally found this list from)

35. Avoid any girl who won’t make out with you in a taxi. She lacks a properly functioning sexual instinct.

41. Avoid any girl who won’t wear a skirt in winter. The winter is too long as it is without having to do without legs. You’ll end up in the stairwell of a Christmas party making out with a girl in skirt.

44. Avoid any girl who tries to come off as more emotionally unavailable and cavalier about relationships than you are. She’s secretly a tightly wound bundle of need.

If you have a few minutes I would suggest reading the rest of the list.  Some of them are quite funny, (unless you are Kirsten Dunst, in which case, um, I liked Spider-Man?) Well that about wraps it up, see ya later. (that was certainly a lot of writing for a non-post)

Busy Bee

So I’ve got some things going on lately that I desperately don’t want to jinx.  So yeah, I may not be super bloggy over the next week or so.  Don’t worry, if I am struck with a divine inspiration of hilarity, you’ll be the first to know (well after me, of course)

I said reading is good. Can we start the story now?

So I’m very tired.  I had a long weekend.  The Giants fucking rule! (FUCK YEAH)! Quite frankly, I am just to darn tired to come up with something incredibly hilarious today.  Plus, I have a book on my desk, so when I saw Paula posted this I thought to myself “I could do that.”

So I guess what I do is open up the nearest book to page 56.  Well the nearest book is this here Life of Pi I decided to pick up last week. Life of Pi.

Okay, so now on page 56 I type out the 5th sentence on the page, plus the next two to five sentences.  Sounds like a solid plan

“Love, Said Father Martin.  And this Son appears only once, long ago, far away? Among an obscure tribe in backwater West Asia on the confines of a long-vanished empirte? Is done away with before He has a single grey hair on His head.”

Well that certainly comes off as really religious, eh?  I guess this does come from the whole spiritual section, who knew. (well I did, but that’s ’cause I already read this part)  But yeah, I guess I am supposed to tag 5 people to do this, but I don’t really want to bother anyone with making them write about whatever book is lying around.  If you feel like doing this, feel free.

Quick Note

I may not be able to post today, and posting may be scarce over the next two weeks because I’m actually involved in something! Like an actual project that I need to be creative to work on.  (KER-AZY!)  I won’t talk about it too much until its finished, but once this actually happens you know you’ll be the first to find out.

I figured for now I’ll post the Fanboys trailer (mostly cause I REALLY wanna see this)