A Short List

Of things that Monopoly lied to me about:

There will be a bank error in your favor. (There is never a damn error in your favor. Even if there is a bank error, it’s illegal for you to use that money.)

You can go to Atlantic City and get rich beyond your wildest dreams. (I hate roulette)

Being a slumlord is not profitable (totally is, you can even save more money by not providing heat! ).

Staying in jail for an extra few days is a good way to avoid paying off debt. (nothing to add in italics here)

Getting out of jail is as simple as rolling doubles (it’s even simpler!)

Free parking is like hitting the lottery (okay, that one’s kinda true. but I don’t own a car)

Railroads will turn a profit (ask Amtrak how that is panning out)

All players will at some point pay you fifty dollars (will never happen, unless you are good at gambling. i am not)

At some point, you will be entered into a beauty contest, and somehow win it (no need to even respond to that)

And this has nothing to do with the lies the Parker Brothers fed to me, but I just plain don’t know what to make of this. I have absolutely no idea what they are going to do with this. I hope its really literal, and Kirsten Dunst is riding around in a big shoe!

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One Response to “A Short List”

  1. No fecking way – a Monopoly movie! This world is getting stranger and stranger . . . Great post though, so true!!!

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