How I Got Drunk Old Timers Day

Mondays suck, yadda yadda, same ol shit.  Who cares, right?  What you really wanna read about is how I got drunk at old timer’s day, isn’t it?  No…you don’t?  Well too bad, cause I’m bored and need to write something.  Maybe I should write a screenplay, move to Hollywood, and get my dreams crushed trying to sell it.   Yeah, or i could give you a detailed account of the final old timer’s day at Yankee Stadium.

Okay, detailed account is probably the wrong way to phrase it. Foggy, alcohol clouded account is probably more accurate, but whatever.  It was a really great time.  I sorta had a long Friday night (hey, is that the sun coming up, ahhh crap).  Luckily, that meant I wasn’t hungover by the time I had to wake up at like 11 O’Clock. I was still drunk, which was nice.  I even met my family in a bar, so it wasn’t totally obvious that I was completely fucking out of it.

I’d never been to old timers day before, so it was great that I got to go to one at the Stadium.  Every time I’ve gone there this season I find myself cataloging the things about it that are going to change completely.  The acoustics where what I was focusing on this past Saturday.  With no tickets in sight, it could be my last time there (although i hope not).  But the sound of the Stadium, the way you can’t hear a fucking thing that anyone says, is probably going to vastly improve.  That sucks.  I mean, next year you’ll be able to understand what Keith Olbermann is saying…which is shit. The sound bounces off the walls and rebounds all over the place to the point where it sounds like your high school’s auditorium.  But the thing is, thats how baseball feels like it should sound today.  When I’ve gone to other places with much clearer P.A. systems it just sounds plain wrong to me.  I wouldn’t be surprised if that is the most drastic change come next year (price of beer excluded).

One thing I won’t miss is the food tho.  Holy crap. I got a hot dog and it looked like a reaaaally long and red rasin.  Like, holy shit, did it look un-appetizing.  Considering I hadn’t eaten a meal in approximately 24 hours (or 24 beers, if thats how you keep track) i manned up end ate the thing.  Despite looking like the appendage from the Montauk Sea Monster it fucking hit the spot. Gotta say that about ballpark food, it always gets the job done.

One Response to “How I Got Drunk Old Timers Day”

  1. I gotta tell ya, I thought that part about the hot dog was going to end with you throwing up, because being drunk and eating suspicious stadium hot dogs does not sounds like a good idea, but I’m glad it all worked out for you!

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