Its A Theme Week

Yeah, I’m going to make every post this week about Halloween.  I honestly have no idea why I am so into Halloween this year, but for what ever reason you guys are just going to have to deal with it.

Today’s topic, the back pocket costume.  There are a lot of people that just plain aren’t into Halloween, and that is totally understandable.  Hell, the only two comments on yesterday’s post expressed dissinterest in Halloween, (as well as a dissinterest in spelling Halloween correctly…although i think in paula79’s case it may be a weird European thingamajig)  Still, even if your not into Halloween or have no plans, something may spring up at the last second.  Especially with this Halloween landing on a Friday (oh sweet Friday).  So you have to be prepared, because you don’t want to show up at a party wrapped in toilet paper.

Your first step is to determine what materials do you have at your disposal in case the drunk phone rings.  Do you have 47 rolls of duct tape and are an accomplished tailor?  Boom…Duct Tape suit, costume done

So if your everyone that hasn’t been on Project Runway this costume is probably not a viable option, and again, you don’t want to haphazardly wrap yourself in duct tape.  Also, if your like me and of the hairy persuasion duct tape costumes can be a torture on the level of waterboarding with cayenne pepper sauce, so yeah.  Duct tape is out.

So you now must assess your wardrobe.  Do you have any shirts/pants/skirts/dresses/garter belts/underpants/socks that look like they belong on any character from any movie or TV show over the last 100 years?  For example, do you own a white t-shirt, green sweater vest and khaki shorts?  Boom, you can dress as Doug Funnie…costume complete.  (also have a belt, extra underpants and a red towel…quailman!) And that is just one any thousands of fringe pop-culture possibilities that exist out there!

If your still stuck, grab your interview suit and throw that shit on.  Now, are you male?  If so get the following items:

  • Cigarette
  • Rye Whiskey
  • Shit Tons of Hair Gel

Now you can dress as any character from Mad Men

Now if you are female and wearing your interview suit.  Is it a pants suit?  If so that one is waaaaay too easy to even say.  Okay, honestly, I have no idea what you could pull off in your regular suit if your a lady.  But I’m sure there’s some way girls could slut it up and then your sexy business women…problem solved.

Well that’s about all I have on this.  Hope this guide helps all you naysayers who think going out dressed up in costume into your twenties is lame (which it totally is) to at least plan ahead in case something comes up at the last second.  Cause you really, really don’t want to resort to this.

(oh how I love google images)

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