Archive for the apologies for what i did drunk Category

…Was His Name-O

Posted in apologies for what i did drunk, bingo, drinking, no, pabst blue ribbon, pbr, random on October 23, 2008 by pgleason85

Yeah, that’s right.  I played fucking Bingo last night.  I hadn’t played bingo since I was maybe 10 years old and with my grandma in the Poconos, so I was a little out of practice.  Luckily, bingo is %100 luck, so not playing in a long time didn’t hurt me.  My terrible luck did.

One thing about this form of bingo.  It was not your grandparent’s bingo.

Okay, it was exactly the same game so i guess it was your grandparent’s bingo.  The thing is, I’m pretty sure when your grandparents win bingo they don’t reach into a large bag of pornography and pick one out at random. As I mentioned before, my extremely low tolerance for luck prevented me from winning any of the terrible porn.  Which actually may have been luckier.  My friend won a game, reached in the bag, and pulled out a midget porn.  There are somethings you can’t unsee, the case for a midget porn is one of them (your humble blogger silently weeps)

The last game of the night however, the winners win a free bar tab.  It was 1am, we were getting ready for bingo to end and stumble home.  And then my friend won the free bar tab.  Naturally, rather than save the 20 dollars for another night, it was decided that a full round of PBR was on him.  Apparently we had been teetering on the edge of reason, and this round pushed us over.  So now, without further ado:

Apparently, Bingo + Porn + utter lack of responsibility = hangover.


How I Got Drunk Old Timers Day

Posted in apologies for what i did drunk, drinking, sports, Yankee Stadium, Yankees on August 4, 2008 by pgleason85

Mondays suck, yadda yadda, same ol shit.  Who cares, right?  What you really wanna read about is how I got drunk at old timer’s day, isn’t it?  No…you don’t?  Well too bad, cause I’m bored and need to write something.  Maybe I should write a screenplay, move to Hollywood, and get my dreams crushed trying to sell it.   Yeah, or i could give you a detailed account of the final old timer’s day at Yankee Stadium.

Okay, detailed account is probably the wrong way to phrase it. Foggy, alcohol clouded account is probably more accurate, but whatever.  It was a really great time.  I sorta had a long Friday night (hey, is that the sun coming up, ahhh crap).  Luckily, that meant I wasn’t hungover by the time I had to wake up at like 11 O’Clock. I was still drunk, which was nice.  I even met my family in a bar, so it wasn’t totally obvious that I was completely fucking out of it.

I’d never been to old timers day before, so it was great that I got to go to one at the Stadium.  Every time I’ve gone there this season I find myself cataloging the things about it that are going to change completely.  The acoustics where what I was focusing on this past Saturday.  With no tickets in sight, it could be my last time there (although i hope not).  But the sound of the Stadium, the way you can’t hear a fucking thing that anyone says, is probably going to vastly improve.  That sucks.  I mean, next year you’ll be able to understand what Keith Olbermann is saying…which is shit. The sound bounces off the walls and rebounds all over the place to the point where it sounds like your high school’s auditorium.  But the thing is, thats how baseball feels like it should sound today.  When I’ve gone to other places with much clearer P.A. systems it just sounds plain wrong to me.  I wouldn’t be surprised if that is the most drastic change come next year (price of beer excluded).

One thing I won’t miss is the food tho.  Holy crap. I got a hot dog and it looked like a reaaaally long and red rasin.  Like, holy shit, did it look un-appetizing.  Considering I hadn’t eaten a meal in approximately 24 hours (or 24 beers, if thats how you keep track) i manned up end ate the thing.  Despite looking like the appendage from the Montauk Sea Monster it fucking hit the spot. Gotta say that about ballpark food, it always gets the job done.

Loooonnnggg Weekend

Posted in apologies for what i did drunk, drinking on June 16, 2008 by pgleason85

And now I am tired and broke.

My weekend can be summed up with this picture:

Don’t even ask why cheese fries are the symbol of my weekend, I’ll let you interpret that as you will.  It’s probably funnier that way anyway.

My Head: A Pictoral

Posted in apologies for what i did drunk, drinking on June 12, 2008 by pgleason85

Last night I went to this bar:

Where these:

Cost this much:

after many of the aforementioned this, i fell asleep in one of these:

It was fun, but today i feel like this:

(hey, hangover bear is back!)

Well That Was Fun

Posted in apologies for what i did drunk, drinking, my birthday, pabst blue ribbon, pbr, random on June 2, 2008 by pgleason85

So wanna hear a blow by blow account from my birthday on friday?

I certainly would.  Yeah, I don’t totally remember everything, but I think I got the gist.  But in all seriousness it was very fun, everyone seemed to have a great time, even my friend who would go on to lose her license, credit card, and cellphone (although the former two were recovered, and the latter was accounted for in that she found a piece of it in her bag…oops).

Many shots were poured, as well as beers (they had PBR on tap…fucking sweet!) and I seem to remember someone buying me a cosmo because they are hilarious.  Actually, i’m not sure if that actually happened.  One of my memories is someone saying they were going to buy me a cosmo, but I don’t know if they did it.

It actually seems a lot worse than it really was.  I remember everyone who came and most of the night, I just lost all the different conversations I had.  That was just as much a product of having 100 different conversations as it all the drinking (end rationalization).

And as for skee ball, my scores went progressively downward as the night moved forward, which was to be expected.  Apparently I’m not that good at the game drunk.

Now its back to the real world where I have to sit at my desk all day, bored, surfing the internet looking for something amusing to send around to my coworkers/friends and post here.


Posted in apologies for what i did drunk, drinking, random on May 29, 2008 by pgleason85

Usually at least once a day someone finds this blog by searching some form of the following:

“drunk apologies”
“bored and drunk”

This pleases me greatly

The Revised Friday Post

Posted in apologies for what i did drunk, drinking, hot chicks, i rule, i'm a nerd, lord of the rings on March 24, 2008 by pgleason85

So I gotta put this Friday rundown up at some point.  Might as well be now.

So we went to this bar to celebrate the girlfriend’s birthday last Friday night.  Despite the bar having Twilight Zone pinball instead of LOTR pinball (bastards) it was a pretty damn fun night.  At first the girlfriend and her friends were a bit weirded out by a bar that was supposed to look like Detroit (who knew).  Luckily, our good friend came to the rescue (psst: our good friends name is Jager).  So after many shots chased by many beers (chased by many shots, which were in turn chased by beers…you get the idea.)   So the night got a little crazy.

“How crazy?” you ask.

Well let me tell you.

In all the years i’ve known the girlfriend, she has never been the kind to go crazy and do things like

a) take off her pants in the bathroom of a bar, because she was wearing a shirt dress

b) make out with one of her female friends

She did both of those things.

Needless to say it was a crazy night.  And to be fair, she got a free t-shirt out of the make out thing (which she left at the bar).

The night ended with me having to act way less drunk then I was while holding back a certain someone’s hair.  And I was the kind of drunk where I “nap” on the rim of my beer bottle.  But I kept it together and all was well.  And, apparently I have a fantastic ass, but more on that later.  Well thats it for my story.  See you Next Friday.