Things I Won’t Miss About October Baseball

Ah, I love the crisp feeling in the the air as the temperature drops just as October swings around.  The leaves just begin to fade to yellow and red that will come to pepper the landscape in the coming weeks.  Slowly every store will have some pumpkin item (I had my first pumpkin spice latte just this morning!).  Ah, it’s finally becomming fall.  I remember what I used to refer to this weather in years past.  In fact, I remember leaving my dorm sophmore year with a friend, stopping to smell the air, turning and commenting that “…it’s playoff weather.”  Alas, that is not the case this year.

My team had quite the run, the Yankees have made the postseason since I was just 10 years old. After a long, 12 year streak, the run has come to an end.  So now, as I sit and watch the Philles of Philadelphia host the Brewers of Millwaukee (really…fucking milwaukee is in the postseason…god dammit) I am not filled with the same joy that I was in years past.  However, not everything about the playoffs is filled with the sublime beauty of the game of baseball.  Here are a few things I will not be missing as I tune out America’s pastime in favor of other sports (FOOTBALLLL ARGHHH BEER AND TRUCKS AND COUNTRY SONGS AND AMEERRRRICAA!!!!!!!!)

1) Frank TV Ads

Oh dear god if Frank Caliendo annoying. Last year was just terrible with these ads.  I mean, yeah, his impersonations are good (for the most part). But is there a need for a Frank TV ad during every…single…commercial…break…for…a…whole…month…….gaahh

2) The Agony of Defeat

(Sorry Mets fans)  I guess one good thing about this year was that I was able to digest the end of the Yankees season over the span of about a month and a half.  As they fell apart in late July/early August I was able to process that baseball was over.   But lord is the feeling of your team being eliminated in the playoffs just terrible.  Baseball is very different than football.  Football is a single crushing blow and its over quickly.  But, baseball, oh dear is baseball painful.  Over the span of week you experience highs and lows as your team fights it out and, for all but one, are defeated in any number of crushing scenarios.  Obviously the worst for me was 2004.  But i choose to highlight an anecdote from 2006.  I was in a bar on 3rd ave in Manhattan to watch game 4 of the 2006 ALDS between the Yankees and Tigers.  I was with my girlfriend at the time, who was also a die-hard Yankee fan.  Not a GSF either, but a die hard Yankee fan. It was a must win for the Yankees, and right off the bat you could see that wasn’t in the cards.  So we sat, and drank, and didn’t say a word to each other, the bartender, any other patrons, no one.  No words were uttered.  We watch the Yanks limp from the postseason in silence.  As we left the bar mets fans were filing in for the late game.  Naturally, being Mets fans, they cheered the Yanks demise.  My gf took it upon herself to shoulder check a rather large Mets fan on the way out the door.  If he hadn’t been so utterly shocked i’m sure he would have kicked my ass over the whole ordeal (cause you can’t hit a girl) Yeah, it sucks when your team is eliminated, and I don’t have to deal with that

3) Missing Fall Television

I haven’t watched so much new fall tv in my life.  It’s gone above and beyond what i talked about in my little preview dewhickey a few weeks back. HIMYM, Heroes, Fringe, House, The Office, It’s Always Sunny.  Its been great.  I laugh, I cry, I cringe…it’s awesome.   The Simpsons started this weekend!  I didn’t even know the Simpsons was on until after the post season!  Awesome.

4) ::Sigh:: Who Am I Kidding

Adjusting to not having any rooting intrest from the get go is very strange.  I’m reaching for reasons that this is okay.  I am really bummed the Yanks aren’t playing baseball right now.  Luckily, like I said, I’ve had plenty of time to process this so it’s not a crushing blow. (are there any Mets fans out there? you okay? need someone to talk to?) But still, the Yankees are done for the year.  I guess there is really only one silver lining:

GOOOO GIAAANTS!

So It Goes Out Like This

The Yankees will play their last game at Yankee Stadium on Sunday (without a miraculous collapse by the Red Sox and a miraculous home stretch by the Yankees…sigh).

At the beginning of the season I mentioned how bummed I was about this sad fact, and now that its here I’m still just as bummed, perhaps more.  I didn’t want to see the place go out like this.  Its like the building equivalent of a sad, fat, drunken Orson Welles.  After so much good history, it goes out on an overpaid, undertalented note.  Its sad, so I figured I’d tell one story of how this place brings generations together, and how it won’t happen again.

My grandfather had Parkinson’s disease and diagnosed when I was fairly young.  So over the course of my life I bore witness to the sad downward spiral of his once booming personality.  Luckily, one memory I have of him being himself was at Yankee Stadium.

My grandfather, dad, brother and myself all trecked to the game from suburban new jersey.  This was probably one of the first dozen or so games I had ever been too.  Apparently, my grandfather hadn’t been on the subway since something like 1950.  But somehow, my dad convinced him to ride the subway to the game, which was a thrill for me. (I’d always loved the idea of the subway…not so much anymore)  We got to the stadium and he took me aside and told me how right there, in that building, on that field, he’d watched Babe Ruth play.  I knew that Babe Ruth had played there, but it was amazing for me to hear it from my grandfather.  I mean, my GRANDPA saw BABE FREAKIN RUTH play baseball at YANKEE STADIUM!

The whole game he kept feeding me nuggets like that. What he had seen, what had happened there during his lifetime, who had been there.  I was amazed. I don’t even know who they played that day, but i remember those stories.  I always thought if I had kids I would be able to take them to Yankee Stadium and tell them that their great grandfather watched babe ruth play on that very field, in that very building, decades earlier. Maybe I could take my dad and he could tell them how he saw Mickey Mantle.  I’d one day be able to say I saw the Yankees play in the World Series in that very spot.  Now I guess I won’t have that, I’ll be taking them to a new stadium with new memories, but it just won’t be the same.  So it goes.

Well, Yankee Stadium, I bid you adue.  You’ve given me many more good memories than bad ones, and I thank you for that.

How I Got Drunk Old Timers Day

Mondays suck, yadda yadda, same ol shit.  Who cares, right?  What you really wanna read about is how I got drunk at old timer’s day, isn’t it?  No…you don’t?  Well too bad, cause I’m bored and need to write something.  Maybe I should write a screenplay, move to Hollywood, and get my dreams crushed trying to sell it.   Yeah, or i could give you a detailed account of the final old timer’s day at Yankee Stadium.

Okay, detailed account is probably the wrong way to phrase it. Foggy, alcohol clouded account is probably more accurate, but whatever.  It was a really great time.  I sorta had a long Friday night (hey, is that the sun coming up, ahhh crap).  Luckily, that meant I wasn’t hungover by the time I had to wake up at like 11 O’Clock. I was still drunk, which was nice.  I even met my family in a bar, so it wasn’t totally obvious that I was completely fucking out of it.

I’d never been to old timers day before, so it was great that I got to go to one at the Stadium.  Every time I’ve gone there this season I find myself cataloging the things about it that are going to change completely.  The acoustics where what I was focusing on this past Saturday.  With no tickets in sight, it could be my last time there (although i hope not).  But the sound of the Stadium, the way you can’t hear a fucking thing that anyone says, is probably going to vastly improve.  That sucks.  I mean, next year you’ll be able to understand what Keith Olbermann is saying…which is shit. The sound bounces off the walls and rebounds all over the place to the point where it sounds like your high school’s auditorium.  But the thing is, thats how baseball feels like it should sound today.  When I’ve gone to other places with much clearer P.A. systems it just sounds plain wrong to me.  I wouldn’t be surprised if that is the most drastic change come next year (price of beer excluded).

One thing I won’t miss is the food tho.  Holy crap. I got a hot dog and it looked like a reaaaally long and red rasin.  Like, holy shit, did it look un-appetizing.  Considering I hadn’t eaten a meal in approximately 24 hours (or 24 beers, if thats how you keep track) i manned up end ate the thing.  Despite looking like the appendage from the Montauk Sea Monster it fucking hit the spot. Gotta say that about ballpark food, it always gets the job done.

Its Trading Deadline Day

I have MLB Trade Rumors open, i have my fingers hovering above “ctrl+r” and I have…well…work to do. BLAST. So far the trading deadline has been, well, fucking awesome! We’ll see if perhaps Manny could leave the American League east. That would make me somewhat happy. And because “trading deadline day” sounds a sorta like “Training Day” here’s this:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

So thats that for now. I’ll definitely post something again just after 4 if anything big happens. And I’ll try to write something non baseball related (probably drinking) later today.  Cause, you know, not everyone likes baseball (bastards!)

So I Didn’t Post Today

I had a loooong and eventful weekend.  I went to both Saturday’s and Sunday’s Yankee games and it has left my exhausted.  Sitting outside in 95 degree heat for 4 hours drinking can take a lot out of you (well i didn’t drink in the stadium saturday, but whatever. damn bleachers).  It was awesome, and I am going to miss that place.  i’ll probably wind up getting to maybe two more games this year, but its not enough.  But yeah, i’m pooped (hehe). To make it up to you, here is the essex st sign at 4am thurs night/friday morning that i noticed after Batman.  Needless to say, I thought this was hilarious.

hehe (and I uploaded myself, so it won’t turn into gay porn)

Sweet

So I went from probably not doing anything, to doing something awesome!

Thats right, I got Yankee tickets!

Moose is starting, so I suppose I’ll post a picture of him:

Should be a fun time.  This is my first game this year.  Its bad that this is the longest i’ve gone without going to a game in a LOOOOOONG time, and it is the final season of Yankee stadium.  Oh well, at least I get to see Griffey for the first time, which is kinda cool.

But anywhoo…LETTS GOO YAANKEEEES (clap clap clapclapclap)

Some Stray Thoughts

After watching the Celtics beat the Lakers to clinch the NBA Championship I realized something. I will (probably) never have the feeling that the players had last night. I don’t think I’ll ever have the feeling of being the best of the best at what I do. Even if I do wind up winning something, I highly doubt it’ll be on National television (even though i have a secret desire to win an Emmy/Oscar/Golden Globe)

Did you hear about the great AIM blackout yesterday? I’ve been able to confirm that the blackout occurred in New York (guess how I figured that out), Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Cleveland, San Diego, and Los Angeles. If anyone here reads this from elsewhere and lost AIM tell me. I’m legitimately curious as to how widespread this was.

So I was at my friend’s birthday last night at Angels & Kings, and they had a Moon Man above the bar. I thought that was kinda cool, but I’m easily impressed. However, the moon man did NOT make up for charging four dollars for PBR’s. What the fuck man.

So my bag that I don’t really need but take with me every day because I like to feel important. Yeah, it fits my computer perfectly. Like, fucking perfectly. Like, I am pretty sure that this bag was actually made by apple. My last bag my computer would barely fit and I’d have to jam it in and it really sucked. This one fits so perfectly that I can actually throw it in with the little sleeve on it and not worry about it at all. Awesome!

Might as well talk about the Yankees. Notice they won their last two games by a total of 21 to ZERO? Cause i fucking did! All I have to say about that is fuck and yes. I’m bummed about Wang going down in such a shitty way, but man, Hank Steinbrenner, shut the fuck up. Like really, are you trying that hard to be your crazy ass dad that you are telling the NL to get with the times and get a DH. Just shut up, cause I really hate to keep talking about you to non-yankee fans who seem to think I care about what you have to say. I do not.

My graduation ceremony was retroactively worsened yesterday, as the speaker got fired. Lame.

Finally, here’s what I’ve been listening to a LOT for the past two weeks. Great song, although this isn’t the version I’ve been listening to at all. But whatever, great song, plus here I can hear every lyric.

Someone Got The Memo

I would like to thank Darrell Rasner for getting my memo yesterday:

He pitched beautifully last night, and it feels good to be a Yankee fan (for today).  It is becoming an increasingly rare event when both the offense and pitching is on for the Yanks, so it was nice to see everything click for once.

Oh, and it’s finally time for instant replay in baseball (as others have pointed out) but two COMPLETELY blown home run calls in three days is unacceptable. Even if they had it just for home runs it would work.  I mean, how far away are these guys from the wall.  It’s ludicrous they can make a good call from that far out when its so close.  Especially when everything is HD!  It wouldn’t lengthen the game at all.  Both Delgado’s home run from Sunday and ARod’s from last night were completely cut and dry.  It would have take three whole seconds for them to look at that and say oh yeah, home run.  Fucking stupid baseball and its stupid “blah blah blah Tradition blah blah blah” bullcrap.  But yeah.  At least the Yanks won!

Might As Well Talk About The Yankees

Ugggh. I really don’t want to talk about this. But unfortunately todays MLB Closer on Deadspin decided to highlight the lowly state of New York baseball (as well as other blogs I frequent). Specifically the Yankees. I mean, I thought Moose was finally starting to look good, but when I flicked on the game last night he wasn’t pitching, it was only 7:30, and it was 10-0. It’s terrible right now. Luckily, today’s Closer reminded me of something

Unless you’re still basking in the afterglow of that Super Bowl victory, its a very bleak picture in New York right now; steel-reinforced shitstorm umbrellas are being feverishly mass produced there as we speak.

YEAH! That’s what I’ll do. The Giants won the freaking Super Bow!!

Uggh, its no use. Sports are supposed to be uplifting, and cheer you up when you’re down, not kick you in the balls by overpaying superstars for 10 years and having it all collapse in spectacular fashion.  Sports are supposed to be where you turn to relax and get away from it all.  Why can’t New York be like that?  Dammit.  Why do I expect nothing short of perfection.  Why can’t I be a Rockies fan. I wouldn’t care how well the team did.  If the game sucks, there’s a fucking water slide.  And when they make the World Series, all the better!

It’s so pointless.  All this back page, what have you done for me lately nonsense.  I realize I was spoiled growing up a Yankee fan in the 90’s, just like Red Sox fans growing up today are spoiled.  Why can’t sports just be a relaxation technique.  I’m just going to start going to Cyclones games.  No one gives a shit (cept for that one really old dude who is always in your section that takes minor league baseball way too seriously, probably because he thinks it feels the void left by the Dodgers)

You know what. Fuck that. I’m going to ride the Cyclone over and over!

Dammit

Oh well. So much for that game on Friday. Rain outs suck. Oh well.

I wound up going to this place where they served gigantic fish bowls full of alcohol, which was fun.

Of course, that indirectly led to me falling asleep in the back of a cab and having the cabby have to yell and wake me up after we went over the Williamsburg bridge, but hey, shit happens.

I also had a toy alligator in my pocket when i woke up, but I think that needs no explanation, as that should seem totally normal.

Oh well. . .I’m actually working on a somewhat big post for later, but until I get that ready I’ll leave you with this remix of Bill O’Reilly’s meltdown from last week:

Probably NSFW if your work frowns upon foul language. however, if you work at the kind of place where you show your coworkers “2 girls 1 cup” you should be fine.